YUCK…
so I’m at a fancy restaurant & I get up to go use the restroom when I run into a guy I know walking out of there. He shook my hand & his shit was drippin’ wet! I said ‘damn homie, don’t you think you could’ve at least dried your hands off after you washed them?” he said “oh yeah I knew I forgot something, let me go back & wash ‘em”

WRONG ANSWER…
When my wife accused me of banging our sexy next door neighbor, I said “How could you think something like that? You know I can only pull ugly chicks” was apparently not the best response.

It seems like the police are always pullin me over for no damn reason. Yesterday a cop said to me “Excuse me sir, do you have any drugs on you?” when I said “Why, what you need?” I guess that was not the answer he was lookin for

Mr. Nice Guy…
I try to do my part for the whole everybody helps each other in the community thing, you know. So yesterday I took the little old lady next door to the Antique Auction & it went pretty damn well. I got $150.00 for her. Now if I could only figure out how to get her kids to stop knockin on my door lookin for her….

One old saying that makes no damn sense to me is “It’s not the size of the boat, it’s the motion of the ocean” For some reason if the dick to pussy ratio is comparable to a boat and an ocean, there’s something wrong with that pussy…

That’s all for today – Keep coming back & tell your friends about the new & improved DrewPillow.com