WHY MEN & WOMEN CAN NEVER BE ‘JUST FRIENDS’

But seriously folks… mature adult men & women can sometimes be just friends right? Nope, Un Unh, forget-about-it, don’t make me laugh, not gonna happen.  Here’s the why: men are simply not biologically capable of being ‘just friends’ with women. There is no way in the world that it can ever really happen for anything more than just a period of time, unless he is a homosexual.  You can try having a ‘friendship’ with a male if you like but it will always end the same way.

Some of you already know that what I’m saying is true, but some of my more idealistic readers will strongly disagree and that’s perfectly ok. Somebody’s gotta believe, just like somebody has to believe in the tooth fairy & the Easter bunny. But I am here to clear this matter up once and for all with some very simple logic. I have broken down ‘Male Friends’ into the following groups. Take a look at this list and then take a closer look at your male ‘friends’ and then tell me that I’m wrong… don’t worry I’ll wait. Male friends fall into the following categories:

WAITERS – These are the men who secretly desire you and are just biding their time hoping to catch you in a moment of weakness.

HANGMEN – These are the men who think that even though you turned them down, if they can just keep hanging around they will eventually convince you that they are worthy of a chance.

PITCHMEN -These are the guys who are in a relationship with one of your friends, which gives them an inroad to your ear. They use this as an opportunity to tell you how good they are & how shitty she is, thinking that you will somehow come to the conclusion that you need to sleep with them because ‘that bitch doesn’t deserve them.’

COMPLAINERS – These are the guys who are in a relationship who talk shit about their lover in an attempt to encourage you to talk shit about your love life. They are operating on the premise that you will eventually see the light & choose to improve your world by sleeping with them.

HATERS – These are the guys who are friends with your lover, who constantly drop negative hints about your man to you – never directly saying anything but always leaving you wondering if you are making a damn fool out of yourself. These guys figure that if they can break you guys up then they’ll be a shoe-in for your attentions.

TRUE BLUES – These guys are actually your friends. They are the real deal in every way with one exception – every now and then they make a suspect statement or comment which raises your eyebrows just a little. You always brush it off because ‘that’s just how he is.’ The truth of the matter is he is revealing his true intentions to you which are “If you let me, I will knock the dust off of it in the blink of an eye” period.  They are really waiting, they aren’t trying to break you up, they don’t bad mouth anybody & if “it” never happens they are ok with that – but they have to keep you subtly informed that they are on deck ready to get in game when the time is right.

The point is that while many men are operating with hidden agendas, even the “good” men are susceptible to these same short-comings. There are men who are basically good in their hearts, but their biochemistry betrays them. Their minds say ‘do the right thing’ but their basic nature says “we loooooove women. You know why? Cuz this is the way that God made us.”  Now who can argue with logic like that?